“Argh….” I cringed as I rolled over in the middle of the night….this is getting ridiculous I thought! Something is not quite right here!
I’m 2 weeks into knowing that I’m pregnant, that makes me nearly 6 weeks, a complete surprise…I have no idea how it’s happened (no not in that way! I did pay attention to sex ed in year 8!) and here I am battling a urinary tract infection too! How on earth has this all happened so quickly! My body may not have been a temple but it was doing pretty well a few weeks ago!
I get up and go to pee once again, my bladder and I have never seen eye to eye but right now we are mortal enemies! Pain shoots through my body once again! Ok this is not normal…..do I go to the hospital now or do I wait….is this what a miscarriage feels like? God I don’t know! I check for blood…no blood..ok no panicking until we see blood! It seems crazy that in one week you go from being over whelmed by the idea of creating a life to worrying you’ll lose it! Ok no blood… go to the GP tomorrow and we’ll go from there!
The next morning I lined myself up in the waiting room to see the GP and find out what’s going on! Sitting in with the GP she asked a few random questions as we tried to get to the bottom of the pain dilemma! Was it the urinary tract infection? no I was on antibiotics. Was it a miscarriage? Not directly….Was it normal? No. hmmmm right….so what was it? The GP looked at me with a cold blunt expression……we could be looking at an ectopic pregnancy! Now that was a curved ball!
2 days later I find myself staring out the window of the car as we drive to our first scan appointment trying desperately to get my head around that this short whirlwind of a process could all be over soon if my endless stomach cramps were infact being caused by an ectopic pregnancy.
I’d had to have the chat with my other half what exactly was an ectopic pregnancy and there’s something surreally awkward about saying look, all the drama that has unfolded in the last 2 weeks could be over really quickly if this is the case. I felt prepared and ready, I had almost prepared myself that the sudden images of being a Mum I had created in my head, could just be a quick flash in a pan and this could all be over as quickly as it started!
Walking into the ultrasound I honestly felt like I was in a real life Eminem song…..hands were sweaty, knees weak arms are heavy…
I made nervous jokes with the scan dude who was doing all he could to keep me calm, I clearly looked like I was about to burst any moment. In true me style within the first 5 minutes of walking in the room I had managed to establish that I was a medical scientist so there for I felt I knew something, in other words don’t fuck with me! To which he kindly laughed it off with a whatevs chick I’ve got the gel here, this will be on my terms!
5 minutes of trying to read a complete strangers facial expressions in stoney silence, expecting the worst and I was about to crack when Mr smooth pulled his glare from the screen for a moment and looked down at me……oh for god sake what!!!!!!! IS there a bottle of moet in my tummy? A dinosaur?? What?
“what did you say your age was?” he started….oh jeez mate get to the point, I coldly replied…”right”, he said with another long pause of that honestly felt like I’d had time to make a cuppa in the middle! Then finally he looked at me with a slight smirk….seriously buddy, I’m about 20 seconds from belting you in the face with your little scanny thingy…..”Do you have a family history of twins?” he said…………WHAT!?????????
OK breath, in and out in an out….what the hell? This is a joke right!!! I took a deep breath looked at Mr Scan man and said…..”sorry?”
“Do you have a family history of twins?”
Oh it’s just a question a background one, surely….”no” I muttered
“well you do now!”, he turned to look at me and smiled……….Pretty sure my heart just stopped.
I think a minute or so has passed and Ive just realized everyone is looking at me in the room….waiting for me to say something…”I’m sorry”, I muttered “but are you sure?”
“Here you go look for yourself” the sonographer said as he swung the screen to point at me…..well bloody hell blow my socks off there in front of me were 2 heartbeats and there was no way I could argue with it! Whoa up….this was deff not the plan! All I seemed to be able to say was “that’s not possible” and all he said was yes yes it is!
“I looked over at my other half sitting across the room, half expecting him to be laying on the floor, resembling the melted marshmallow man from Ghostbusters, only to see him beaming with happiness and giggling!
“What are you laughing at!?” I said at him, with frustration building “it’s not funny!!”
“We are so efficient!” he beamed! Not exactly what I was thinking buddy!
I’m not really sure what happened after that, the rest of the consult was a bit of a blur! There was talk of pain and cause, that it’s why I’m so sick and tired, increased risks and all sorts of things. I’m pretty sure I looked as if I was in the conversation but my head was somewhere in the Bahama’s taking a holiday due to too much info to process…..
As we left the consult we walked through the waiting room, my other half propping me up as I tried not to pass out….the poor people in the waiting room must have thought the worst. I was a pale shade of grey and couldn’t walk straight….my brain was completely empty….still on leave! As we walked to the car I stopped suddenly, grabbed my partners arm, looked him dead in the eyes and said in complete panic…..”No! We are going to have to sell the car….I don’t want to sell the car!”
“babe it’s ok…”
“NO!” I interrupted him….”this is not ok!! I really like this car and I DON’T want to sell it!” We got in the car and drove home.
A week or so functioning on autopilot and my brain started to slowly return from it’s small vacation. Suddenly I find myself staring at myself in the mirror one morning just about to head to work and a clod shiver crosses my whole body! I glared at my disheveled reflection in the mirror and had a complete moment of realisation……I was going to be a TWIN MUM!!