As we reach the 10 month (8.5 corrected) milestone, it’s fair to say keeping up with these little monsters has just become a challenge in itself! Long gone are the tiny helpless preemies who spent their lives screaming from pain from colic and reflux and insert assertive, headstrong infants who now scream….well for all reasons I’m yet to work out.
I’m not sure when the transition from baby to small human actually happened, but here I find myself surrounded by 2 partly mobile miniature humans who simply couldn’t be any more different! I’m not going to be one of those people who says “wow the last 10 months has flown by”. To be honest I actually feel like it’s been possibly the slowest 10 months of my life since I was 5 and realised 10 months was ages til Santa was coming! But I will say geez a lot changes in that 10 months!
So here’s a few things I’m learning about having 10 month olds!
PLAY PENS SUCK! – Apparently my best laid plans to contain my “I want to crawl everywhere” children with a nice spaced playpen is a no go! My miniature monsters have decided that captivity is for the birds and would rather have me doing a sprint session across the lounge in an attempt to stop each child hurting themselves! Play pen sessions now last about 10 minutes before they realise they are stuck with each other in a contained environment without me and fun quickly turns to hysteria!!!
I’M BECOMING A MASTER IN ILLUSIONS! – Now you see me…. now you don’t! I am learning quickly the art of distract and remove from the “situation room ” (aka the play pen)! This is an intricate process which involves me returning to children when screeching in play pen, playing with them for a few minutes and then distracting them with a musical toy until I find that second to quietly extract myself from the pen and leave them contently playing with themselves! This is however a WIP (work in progress)! I am yet to actually achieve this goal and usually in my haste to exit find myself stepping on a block, tripping over the play pen and face planting into the ground causing such a commotion I look up to see both twinnies giggling at me and I’m back to square one!
GETTING DRESSED IS….just a bloody nightmare to be quite frank! To think only a few months ago we used to have these fleeting mummy son moments where we would look dotingly into each others eyes, laugh and giggle while we changed nappies and outfits. Now this simple process has become more like a scene from a Jackie Chan action movie which I clearly have not done enough judo training for! It is now an apparent impossibility for either of my children to lie still for just a moment to change a nappy! I now find myself doing a cross between martial arts and yoga while singing a combination of disney songs in an attempt to hold them still and not end up with poo everywhere and a naked mini butt wondering off on me!
THE HIT AND MISS OF TOYS. Long gone are the days when a squeeky toy and a rattle seemed to provide mounds of entertainment and stimulation. We are now going through toys at a rate of knots and my small bulldozer children appear to be pre-trained in the art of destruction!! The unbreakable break, and the most random of things become the most entertaining Right now terror uno is entertaining himself by eating the drawstring on my jumper as I make an effort to write this with out sticky fingers across my laptop! Other highly entertaining toys include a water bottle crushed or rolling on the ground, a moving box and despite my best efforts my phone case 😦
MUM Vs FOOD. Who’s good idea was solids?? I was slightly excited about the idea of my kids eating “real food” until the reality set in. Now it appears the tantalising combination of Heinz lamb, sweet potato, apple, pear and god knows what else is wearing thin and what ever I have or whatever else is possibly available is a lot more exciting! My days of feeding my kids organic quinoa and mango from a tube have been replaced by cubes of cheese, bread and butter, banana and pretty much anything I am putting in my mouth! Terror 1 now resembles a squawking bird who demands what ever I’m eating and seems to be channelling his inner Heston Blumenthal! He would rather eat a sweet chilli chip and some spinach dip than have purred apple! And then there is terror 2’s ability to get food everywhere!! And I mean literally EVERYWHERE! Yesterday I discovered that the kid had smeared berry porridge above his right ear and left a big chunk of banana under his hat!!! How the heck did he get it under his hat?! (yes I do bath my kids!)
GOING OUT….SUCKS! Remember those days when you put your twins in the pram walked them to the pub and they slept while you had dinner and a cheeky vino? Yeah me neither. BUT it’s certainly gone down hill with Mr & Mr FOMO making sure they don’t miss an ounce of action! This usually results in me carrying them for the duration of an event and surrendering half my dinner to Hunter’s hair and the floor! That on top of the publics on going commentary on twins, it becomes such a stressful night that I now see why people with twins rarely venture from the front mail box!
Anywho’s it’s fair to sat there are a lot more laughs with H 1&2 than in the past, even if it is more exhausting in a totally new way!! 🙂