Sleeptime…it’s like the marathon I never trained for!

I am seriously starting to wonder what on earth happens to my children when sleep time comes around. My seemingly pleasant yet needy duo appear to turn into some sort of possessed zombie creatures!

Right now we are smack bang in the middle of the “10 month sleep regression”, yet another unadvertised bonus of the parenting process. I find myself both physically and mentally exhausted trying to fight a now hysterical sleep fight that seems to leave me frustrated, exhausted and physically hurting! In fact one of the biggest things I have learnt about sleep and parenting is that I am too unfit to handle it!

Seriously this shit is like some sort of ultra-marathon you never trained for! When you’re dealing with unsettled humans (which both of mine have been from the get-go), it’s kinda like you entered into an all round olympic event without knowing! Olympians spend years training physically and mentally to take on the toughest challenges. I went into unsettles twins after 7 months of pregnancy that left me more unfit than I’ve ever been! Needless to say I’m struggling to even come last in my event!

Every night I’m waking myself from my light sleep on an average 90 minute cycle to jump up with full energy, attend a screaming child and launch into some sort of circuit which involves arm patting, stroking, rocking or bouncing for what feels like a marathon time all while fighting screaming, lurching strong bodies, flailing limbs and my deep desire to curl up into a little ball and sleep! My muscles are fatigued from the ever growing body size and the longer demand for settling attention. Had I known the physical requirements of being an unsettled twin mum I feel a career in the forces would have prepared me better!

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q1I see all those wonderful books and advice lines that say “just leave your kid to cry it out for a bit and then they’ll get used to it”…. bahahaha seriously that’s some funny shit!!!! Unless you have a saint of a kid you are probably like me just struggling to make it through each night with an inch of sleep! Add a second into the equation and sleep is simply not an option for me! Now I could deal with the no sleep, BUT it’s the battle that is attached to it that I was completely unprepared for.

For me, settling and sleep is a matter of survival NOT what the books and so called “professionals” say is “correct”! What the hell is correct in parenting? Every kid is different and if you don’t believe that spend a night with twins! Whatever you are doing to try your best to get your babies to sleep is all you can do! Chronic exhaustion is a form of torture and unless you have truly experienced the wrath of 2 screaming, hysterical miniature humans who can outlast you by a lifetime, you will never understand.

I admit, I pick my kids up and put them in bed. I try and rock them to sleep. Sometimes I wake them up properly to break the spell of hysteria. I drive for hours around town to get them to sleep. I put them in the pram and walk for hours to get a long sleep. And guess what?! The other night I lay in my bed with one of my twins and watched 90 minutes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse until he finally fell asleep as it was more pleasant than the complete hysteria I’d had for the 2 hours before that! Desperate times call for desperate measures!

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I’ve had moments I felt like yelling at my boys, wanting to punch the wall and having to simply walk away because it’s too much. If you’re a parent and you think I’m bad, well I highly doubt you’ve really experience parenting! Nothing will drive you more insane than lack of sleep and a 2 toned screaming match! So you do what you do for a moments peace. To look at 2 peaceful sleeping babies is the best moment for a twin parent so you stuff the rules, the books and the guidelines and you do what ever the hell you can! Besides….when did you ever see a 15 years old boy wanting to be rocked to sleep by his Mum!

xx Nix xx

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