It was a beautiful Monday morning as we made our way over for another scan. Three weeks in hospital and I was starting to feel like I ran the place. Over all my mood was down, this was never how I imagined my last weeks of pregnancy to be. I always thought I’d be swanning back, enjoying the ride, planning and organising every element of my bubs arrival but with 2 onboard everything was different and there I was hospital simply playing a waiting game!
The days blended and the nights dragged and just when I thought it’d never end things started to change quickly. There I found myself getting yet another ultrasound (what felt like my millionth) when after a good half hour of poking around, the Sonographer looked at me and said … “be right back”. Now if I know one thing in the medical world it’s when someone spends longer than anticipated looking at something then says be right back…shits going down.
Moments later she transferred me to another room and an Obstetrician came in. ‘Sorry…we are just not getting a good read on the lower twin so we’ll try here.’ She explained.
2 more scans from different machines later and we found ourselves back in the waiting room and the Doctor on the phone to our Obstetrician. We didn’t really know what was going on but we had a pretty good idea it was happening faster than expected. I looked at Chris who looked anxiously at his phone. ‘You ok?’ I said
‘I have a 1pm meeting.’ He said
‘Your best cancel it!’ I replied.
He glanced over to me just as I overheard the Doc saying today or tomorrow?
At that moment it struck me that we hadn’t decided on a name for our 2nd born. I mentioned this to Chris as we’d had a few options… ‘the second H’ he said! Righto I nodded.
Moments later and I was back at the private hospital transferring to John Hunter. My littlest bottom twin was failing to thrive or not growing – my instincts were right! So all of a sudden it was delivery time…it was going to be safer for the bubs.
As we arrived at the hospital things went a little pear shaped when they admitted me to the ward instead of sending us to delivery. After sitting in the room for a few minutes anxiously waiting for something to happen, we finally called a nurse to confirm what was going on. She said she’d be back to do obs in a sec. At that point I had to make it clear to her that we weren’t looking for Obs and a cup of tea we were here to have babies…now! With a blank look she rushed off and moments later we were on our way.
Sitting in a delivery room knowing you are finally going to see your babies is a surreal feeling. There were no labour pains, no crying or screaming they simply went through the process is a c-section with me and then I just had to wait for my turn. A lot of things remain a blur from that evening but a few things are crystal clear.
The first was the moment they explained what was awaiting me in theatre. An Anaesthetist and his team, my Obstetrician and his team, some surgical nurses, 2 Neonatal Paediatricians and there teams and 2 Neonate crash carts. It sounded like half the bloody hospital was there.
The second thing was the sinking feeling I got when the nurse informed me there was a chance one or both my bubs would not come out breathing.That was something I simply hadn’t prepared myself for. My mind suddenly exploded with multiple scenarios and I had no option but to put all those thoughts at the back of my mind and tackle the task at hand which was to get me and hopefully them through this. There was no going back now!
The last was the terrified feeling I had gripping on to my Dads hand as they wheeled the bed towards the operating theatre. I felt like a little girl again, just wanting Dad to tell me everything would be ok. We left him and Chris at the door and there I found myself alone in a massive operating theatre.
Moments later my Doc and the Anaesthetist came in. They both explained how this was going to go down. Basically I’d get the spinal, once that was done all the teams would pile in and we’d get underway. If things went ok I might see one of the boys but I had to be prepared that they could be rushed off to NICU and I’d see nothing. It was scary. It was nothing like I ever imagined my childbirth to be.
Another moment later and I was alone with the Anaesthetist, bent over and the spinal was going in. I’m good with needles and pain but the moment you can’t feel anything from your chest down is unimaginable.
Then suddenly it was game on. A sheet came up in front of me the peeps piled in and Chris popped up next to me.
The next part seemed to go very quickly my doctor was amazing he talked me through the whole process. It took them about 10 minutes to get a babies out and at 8.01pm Harrison entered the world…surprisingly breathing! Only 80 seconds later Hunter followed…also breathing! It was the best and most over whelming moment knowing they were both breathing, that was a massive win! After an unexpected skin to skin moment the boys were rushed off the NICU, Chris followed suit and the theatre emptied again.
The next thing I really remember is waking up in recovery, I still couldn’t feel my legs and I had no idea where the boys were but I lay there for what felt like ever until finally feeling returned to my lower limbs.
Apparently as they wheeled me back to the ward I went past the NICU and got to see the boys. I don’t remember this at all but there is a photo of it so it must have happened. With all the drugs in my system I must have simply fallen fast asleep.
The next thing I remember was waking up in a total panic! All I could hear were babies crying, mothers muttering to their babies. I sat up looking around. There were curtains drawn around me, clearly other Mums on the other sides of the curtains. All I was thinking was where are my babies. I couldn’t remember a thing. There was no Chris, no Dad and no babies! Where were my babies? I grabbed my stomach, it felt flat and empty, I could hear babies crying all around me but I had no babies near me… where the hell were my babies?!
To be continued…