An open letter to my now 2 year olds…

Harry and Hunter

Well I can’t believe you are 2 today. I am not sure what I feel more…that time has just flown by or the fact that I can’t remember life without you and wouldn’t want to.

It feels like a life time ago that I was sitting in the waiting room of the imaging place, over hearing a conversation about how “this had to happen today and as soon as possible”, as the doctors quickly realised they needed to get you out, when I turned to your Dad and said sh@t we don’t have a name for the second one!

It feels like a life time ago from seeing your tiny little frail bodies for the first time in the NICU unit, both in humidicribs trying desperately to work out who I should be with at each second of your new lives.

Looking at you 2 now as you bounce your way into the third year of your life I simply can’t ever believe you were that small and while time seems to have flown yet gone slow, I can only reflect on the last 2 years as the most amazing, action packed and challenging I’ve ever had…but hey we are here!

In many ways, this year has been even more challenging than the first year of your life. I’ve learnt even more about myself than possible. This year was my first “working mum” year and with that has come an immense number of challenges I couldn’t have anticipated. With that it has made me reassess my whole life, my purpose and my direction. I have lived with the constant division between mum me and work me and even now one year into it I’m still trying to work out how to be the best at both without feeling I’ve let you down.

We’ve shared some enormous highs and milestones. You’ve gone from starting to walk to running, riding your trikes some competently, jumping in the waves, splashing in the water and learning how to use a scooter. You’ve started to talk and with that become strong willed, determined and adamant that snacks are way better than foods that include vegetables. You’ve learnt more words as your weeks go on and despite Harry talking over everyone (don’t know where you get that), Hunter your beautiful, quiet voice is starting to shine and it melts my heart!

You’ve battled the demon of colic and succeeded. It may have broken us at times but we listened to you, nurtured you, threw the rule book out and kept cuddling you and now more nights than before you can take yourselves to bed and fall asleep, something as a mum of colicky babies makes me super proud.

We’ve had our fair share of fears with trips to the hospital and over nights in Maitland with croup. We’ve shared many lumps and bumps with stomach bugs, endless coughs and colds and numerous bruises and cuts but we’ve come out on top so far.

We’ve had plenty of tears and times you’ve driven me up the wall! As your awareness and interest in each other has grown so has your ability to fight over absolutely everything!

I’ve had to remove trucks from fights because we must have the same one, we’ve had biting, head locks and plenty of tantrums but then you smile at each other, laugh as you play chase up and down the hallway and giggle hysterically at your own “in” joke and it simply melts me.

Adventures we have had a plenty! We’ve been shopping in Melbourne, swimming in Cairns, visited the Blue Mountains, ordered room service in 5 star hotels, gate crashed Daddy’s meetings, eaten endless packets of Pringles on planes to keep you quiet (yes Harry you spewed a lot), visited family and friends all over the place and managed to make our way on to national TV!

It’s honestly crazy to think that 2 years ago we were whisked into the operating theatre and you were born tiny little premmies.

You wouldn’t even pick it today! No words can describe the love I have for you and how much I want to hold on to this moment in time for ever yet at the same time I am immensely proud of the strong, independent men you are becoming. You personalities are both rays of sunshine and we are so blessed to have you in our lives.

I made a promise last year to document more of your life so I never missed a moment, but life got busy. I promise this year I will do it. I never want to forget a moment with you. They go to fast and I want to hold every tear, moment of laughter and adventure in my heart forever.

Happy 2nd birthday my gorgeous boys, I am so lucky to have you.

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