I’m pretty sure that when you read page one of chapter one of any parenting book it probably starts with observations like:
‘Don’t leave child unattended’ or ‘don’t leave child around water or in a car’ or maybe even ‘remove any hazards from child’. I wouldn’t quite know because upon finding out I was having twins I threw the idea of referring to a rule book out the window!
In hindsight that probably wasn’t the best idea as I seem to have thrown my common sense out too and days like today remind me of that.
You see today has been a rather hectic day or better known as a bit of a shit day! I found myself bailing from a busy day of work right on the very second, hightailing it home grabbing my 2 year olds, throwing them in the car (and by throwing I mean the long winded process that involves me swearing endlessly at car seats that refuse to do up) and making haste to the hairdressers.
Where upon I found myself and 3 other adults wrangling my beast like children with bribes of Mickey Mouse, ice blocks and snacks as we attempted to chop their locks.
After a quick de-tour via ‘daddys’ work to say hi…or more to the point for me to pee and get a free cup of coffee, I found myself pulling up in the drive way just approaching dinner time! I quickly negotiated removal of kids and endless crap I had in my car in an aim to get inside before the wrath of the 40 degrees was really felt.
Hoping to avoid any world war 3 style melt downs I flicked on the tv and launched into dinner making mode. Content with the fact the boys were distracted by the tv I focused on the task at hand.
I should have known from the fact that H1 was quiet, which is unheard of, that something was afoot!
As I called Harry over to get the forks for dinner a glimpse towards the table and something didn’t add up. A double take and I realised that H1 aka troublemaker aka Harrison had managed to grab my makeup bag out of the collection of stuff I’d ejected from the car and was sorting through it.
On closer inspection, sorting was a bit of an understatement, as I witnessed my 2 year old redecorating the couch and floor with my divine dark bronze shimmer pigment from my MAC makeup collection!
Look, I am a self confessed sparkle lover and I never miss the opportunity to add a bit of bling but in discovering my once white carpet is now a patchy brown colour and my couch is half gold, I was less than impressed! This was not the type of redecorating i was aiming for.
So alas here I sit, contemplating breaking my ‘I’m not having a wine until Thursday’ rule, googling ‘best ways to remove makeup from carpet’, feeling deeply saddened at my loss (of both my eyeshadow and carpet), while thinking…why the buggery could I just not remember one of the basic rules of parenting…keep shit away from my toddlers!
So any suggestions of great carpet stain removal can be forwarded to our Facebook page, and I think it’s time I read the first page of parenting!
Oh and I burnt the fruit toast for desert *face palm